Teach to learn

This post came out from The Straits Times (16 July 2016)
Title - Teach to learn - Mentoring is beneficial to both parties if executed well

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Support other people's success
2. Share their experience and expertise
3. Listen and respect

On Support other people's success

• As a mentor, you should not feel envious of or feel threatened by the growth of your mentees. You should be ready to congratulate and celebrate with them, help them, and get them to where they want to go or be the people they want to be.

On Share their experience and expertise

• Being a mentor means sharing one's time, experience, resources and connections.

On Listen and respect 

• A mentor should not impose his or her views, judgement and values on others - but give insights and offer perspectives and suggestions for improvement. The mentee should be allowed to make decisions. 

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big

Empower the high flyers to fly higher and help low performers take off

This post came out from The Straits Times (20 Jan 2012)
Title - Help your team excel - Empower the high flyers to fly higher and help low performers take off

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Coach, don't tell
2. Give high fliers room to excel
3. Help low fliers fly higher

On Coach, don't tell

• The easiest way to coach people is to ask questions. So instead of telling a habitually unpunctual employee not to be late, ask him if he prefers to be late or on time. 
• Coaching people is about asking questions that assume people want to be good, ask questions that seek reasons for the shortfall in behaviour,
• Ask questions on how the employee can resolve the short fall in behaviour
• Ask questions to prompt the employee to state his commitment to the resolution

On Give high fliers room to excel

• Top performers in your organisation want to achieve more but they often need people to tell them so. As as leader, you can do the following
• Praise them for their high performance
• Ask them how they think they can move beyond the current boundaries
• Ask them to share with you what specific behaviours are needed to move their teams to achieve success sooner than later
• Assure them that they will get the resources they need to meet the organisational goals discussed

On Help low fliers fly higher

• In dealing with below par performers, encouragement and guidance are key factors. Let them know that they can become high fliers if they follow these five steps
• Identify the main reason for their low performance. If they put the blame on others, let them know that they must take ownership of their behaviour. For example, if a perpetually late employee blames the bus schedule, tell him that if he can see this as his own problem and adjust his behaviour, he need not be at the mercy of the transport system.
• Help them resolve the issue by stating the problem, finding a solution and making the necessary changes to their behaviour.
• Identify one trait or behaviour that they have in common with high fliers. For example, an employee may say that he has as good interpersonal skills.
• Help the employee to understand that an easy way to improve his performance is to emulate the high flier's behaviour.
• Give the low fliers a lot of encouragement. Praise them when they make small, tangible improvements. These little victories will motivate them to achieve greater things. 

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big

Be a good role model

This post came out from The Straits Times (28 March 2012)
Title - Be a good role model - Here are the essential qualities of a mentor

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Essential qualities
2. Don'ts
3. Benefits

On Essential qualities

• Work knowledge - The mentor has sufficient in depth knowledge of work processes and procedures and the maturity to share experiences and problem solving strategies
• Organisational knowledge - The mentor has a good sense of inner workings (office politics, policies and culture) of the organisation
• Commitment - The mentor is committed to constantly upgrading and keeping abreast of developments in his field of expertise and career
• Awareness - The mentor understands and has awareness of the different ways and pace in which people learn, develop and progress in their careers
• Compassion - The mentor exhibits patience and compassion in understanding the frustrations, anxieties, uncertainities as well as aspirations of a new employee striving to integrate into the organisation
• Confidentiality - The mentor respects the need for confidentiality at all times in the mentoring relationship
• Boundaries - The mentor sets clear boundaries in the relationship as mentoring effectively takes place outside the direct supervisory line
• Encouragement - The mentor provide encouragement by affirming and acknowledging the mentee's accomplishments, progress and significant milestones

On Don'ts

• Instructing mentees - Mentors should never tell mentees how to do their daily work. The mentee's work problems should not end up with the mentor
• Providing solutions - Mentees need to think through and put in effort to figure out answers for their own operational issues. Mentees need to learn on the job and their mistakes should be corrected by their direct line managers
• Making decisions for mentees - Mentees are responsible for their own decisions and mentors are not there to give approvals or permission
• Giving frequent advice - Mentors should give advice only if it is helpful to the mentee's development
• Interfering in the mentee's appraisal - Mentors should not attempt to provide an unfair advantage by interfering in the appraisal process of mentees
• Criticising mentees - Mentors should not criticise mentees for their mistakes. If this is perceived as negative feedback, it can stifle learning and adversely affect the mentoring relationship

On Benefits

• Value add - Effective mentors leverage on years of experience and thereby bring value add to their seniority and role in the organisation
• Personal development - In handling mentees, mentors create opportunities to enhance their own communication, technical and managerial skills
• Renewed purpose - By committing to the process and taking pride in the accomplishments and progress of their mentees, mentors are able to find renewed purpose and continued relevance in the organisation

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big

What it takes to be a great mentee

This post came out from The Straits Times (18 August 2015)
Title - Do your part - What it takes to be a great mentee

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Purposeful
2. Pro-active
3. Perspective-taking
4. Perspective challenging

On purposeful

• A motivated mentee should go into the mentoring relationship knowing what he or she wants to achieve. While mentoring does not require intensive, succinct goals, research has shown that without focusing on at least a couple of themes, the relationship will gradually dwindle into idle chit chats. This will lead to a cessation of meetings as both parties will find them a waste of their time.
• A successful mentoring relationship comprises a couple of mutually agreed upon developmental themes for the mentee. These usually revolve around soft competencies like interpersonal relations, motivation of staff, time management, conflict resolution, and so on. These themes are broad "I want to be..." statements, usually observable but not necessarily measurable. 

On Proactive

• The make-or-break of a mentoring relationship hinges on a mentee's motivation. Mentoring exists primarily to help the mentee develop. It expects the mentee to manage the relationship.
• As such, the mentee is expected to initiate the meetings, and arrange the logistics. This is a test of the mentee's learning aptitude. If a mentee is too busy to manage the mentoring relationship, it is doubtful if this mentee is truly a high potential learner who can aspire to greater achievements when he or she cannot even be bothered with his or her own self development or have the initiative to build relationships with the mentor.

On Perspective taking

• This means being open-minded enough to give and take differing views. A great mentee listens actively and objectively to the mentor's perspectives and views without being defensive.
• On occasions, the mentee might think the mentor's views are not relevant or helpful. The quickest way to shut down engagement is to rebut or disagree with the mentor. 
• Instead, the mentee should adopt the mindset that what is irrelevant today might be relevant tomorrow. Therefore, a mentee should just listen, thank his or her mentor, and put that knowledge into the back of his or her mind.

On Perspective challenging

• On the other hand, the mentee needs to be prepared to share his or her feelings, views and perspectives openly so that the mentor is better able to help and guide the mentee more effectively. 
• If the mentee has a differing view, he or she needs to be courageous enough to state so respectfully so that a meaningful dialogue can ensure. The mentoring relationship is designed to be a safe avenue for both mentors and mentees to exchange perspectives. This is how learning can take place.
• Perhaps the most significant part of mentoring takes place when the mentee puts into action what is discussed and agreed upon in the mentoring conversation. The mentee has to be willing to attempt to apply what is learnt immediately.

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big

How to be a good mentor

This post came out from The Straits Times (9 July 2015)
Title - Learn to teach

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Vulnerability
2. Focus
3. Reflect on learn

On Vulnerability

• Mentors may feel that mentees are not open enough to share their hears and minds. Yet, most mentees are understandably apprehensive in front of their mentors
• It rests on the mentor to relate to the mentee on a more personal level. They key lies in daring to be vulnerable: a mentor should be willing to take the initiative to share his or her personal background, views and feelings. 
• Once the mentee perceives the mentor to be 'human', he or she will relax.

On Focus

• Successful mentoring should lead to the development of the mentee. To do so, the mentor needs to keep in mind key developmental areas that both parties have to agree upon at the outset of the relationship. 

On Reflect and learn

• The mentor can add more value by helping the mentee view an issue from multiple perspectives instead of imposing his or her own opinions and solutions. 
• The mentor should be more concerned that the mentee can learn better, rather than just do better.
• Mentor needs to help mentee to Reflect - Great mentors always ask 'What happened?'. They guide mentees to reflect on their experiences to slow down, and relieve their work lives, such as recounting a work conflict. 
• Mentor needs to help mentee to Be Aware - Mentors should ask 'So what?'. Doing so would take their mentees further down the road of reflection to realise what they did well and did not. By doing so, mentees would become aware of the impact of their actions. Mentors can also share relevant experiences to encourage and inspire their mentees. 
• Mentor needs to help mentee to Learn - Mentors need to ask 'Now what?'. The mentee needs to take what they learn and convert it to future lessons. 

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big

Characteristics of good mentoring

This post came out from The Straits Times (5 June 2015)
Title - Understand the differences

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Differences between counselling, coaching and mentoring
2. Characteristics of good mentoring

On difference between counselling, coaching and mentoring

• Counselling tends to be problem related, although it involves aspects of both mentoring and coaching. It occurs when there is an unhealthy situation that needs to be attended to
• Coaching is about imparting skills and abilities. It is usually contract driven and coaching ceases when the required skill is developed or acquired
• Mentoring also seeks to impart skills and knowledge, but it is far more relational, and is more centered on how to do things rather than what to do

On characteristics of good mentoring

• Mentoring is a process based on the principle of volunteering rather than on obligation or expectation. Mentors are usually sought out for their wisdom and insight rather than pure technical skills
• Mentoring tends to be characterized by proposals rather than instructions and guidelines. A mentor's input is always framed within the context of the mentee's responsibility for choice and action
• Mentoring is not about developing dependence and reliance upon the mentor. It is about training, so that the one being mentored is free to fly
• Mentoring is a privilege. To share in the lives of others and to give observations and suggestions to help them do better or differently is a gift, because people are by nature defensive and proud
• Never give in to anger or frustration. No matter how correct you may be, saying things in the wrong manner is likely to damage the relationship
• Mentoring is about treasuring people. Whatever one says or shares is for the other's best interest, and not so you can look good
• Do not rush the person being mentored into ideas that may be new for him. Give time for reflection before pressing for change. Gentleness is a far more persuasive balm than pressure or manipulation

Yours,

Something Small Thinking Big