What it takes to be a great mentee

This post came out from The Straits Times (18 August 2015)
Title - Do your part - What it takes to be a great mentee

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Purposeful
2. Pro-active
3. Perspective-taking
4. Perspective challenging

On purposeful

• A motivated mentee should go into the mentoring relationship knowing what he or she wants to achieve. While mentoring does not require intensive, succinct goals, research has shown that without focusing on at least a couple of themes, the relationship will gradually dwindle into idle chit chats. This will lead to a cessation of meetings as both parties will find them a waste of their time.
• A successful mentoring relationship comprises a couple of mutually agreed upon developmental themes for the mentee. These usually revolve around soft competencies like interpersonal relations, motivation of staff, time management, conflict resolution, and so on. These themes are broad "I want to be..." statements, usually observable but not necessarily measurable. 

On Proactive

• The make-or-break of a mentoring relationship hinges on a mentee's motivation. Mentoring exists primarily to help the mentee develop. It expects the mentee to manage the relationship.
• As such, the mentee is expected to initiate the meetings, and arrange the logistics. This is a test of the mentee's learning aptitude. If a mentee is too busy to manage the mentoring relationship, it is doubtful if this mentee is truly a high potential learner who can aspire to greater achievements when he or she cannot even be bothered with his or her own self development or have the initiative to build relationships with the mentor.

On Perspective taking

• This means being open-minded enough to give and take differing views. A great mentee listens actively and objectively to the mentor's perspectives and views without being defensive.
• On occasions, the mentee might think the mentor's views are not relevant or helpful. The quickest way to shut down engagement is to rebut or disagree with the mentor. 
• Instead, the mentee should adopt the mindset that what is irrelevant today might be relevant tomorrow. Therefore, a mentee should just listen, thank his or her mentor, and put that knowledge into the back of his or her mind.

On Perspective challenging

• On the other hand, the mentee needs to be prepared to share his or her feelings, views and perspectives openly so that the mentor is better able to help and guide the mentee more effectively. 
• If the mentee has a differing view, he or she needs to be courageous enough to state so respectfully so that a meaningful dialogue can ensure. The mentoring relationship is designed to be a safe avenue for both mentors and mentees to exchange perspectives. This is how learning can take place.
• Perhaps the most significant part of mentoring takes place when the mentee puts into action what is discussed and agreed upon in the mentoring conversation. The mentee has to be willing to attempt to apply what is learnt immediately.

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big