3 common types of difficult behaviour

This post came out from The New Paper (3 March 2016)
Title - 3 Common types of difficult behaviour

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Brick Wall
2. Office Bully
3. The know-it-all

On Brick Wall

• The person exhibits passive-aggressive behaviour. He usually refuses to contribute or share his opinion on any issue.
• What to do: Keep asking questions. Prompt the person with suggestion of issues that they could be thinking but not voicing out loud. If the person still refuses to interact, highlight the objectives of the situation at hand and the consequences if he does not share valuable information that can be of use.

On Office Bully

• This person tends to be aggressive and forces others to give in to his demands.
• Don't fall into the trap of losing your cool. Be firm and assert yourself professionally to win the office bully's respect. Hold your ground and exercise patience. Find opportunities to communicate with the person and present your feedback without letting your feelings of annoyance get in the way.

On The know-it-all

• This person hates to be corrected and likes to be seen as an expert on every issue.
• What to do: Let him have all the attention he desires. Make sure that you are certain of the facts before you talk to this person. If the person has some facts wrong, make suggestions respectfully rather than be direct with him about his mistakes. 

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big

How to have effective working relationships

This post came out from The Straits Times (3 February 2016)
Title - How to have effective working relationships

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Staying positive
2. Building long lasting relationships
3. Handling tough people

On Staying positive

• The workplace is an extension of your daily life, and just like in life, it is always good to surround yourself with positive people at work. That does not mean you avoid people you do not get along with. Try to make the best out of any situation and focus on being in positive situations to succeed at work. This will in turn increase the confidence your colleagues have in you. 
• It is important to maintain good relationships with everyone regardless of their role, seniority, and influence on your career progression. Over the course of your work, you may disagree with others but it does not mean you should not have a good relationship with them. Maintain healthy debates and discuss on matters, yet leverage on combined skills and expertise for the overall benefit of the team and company.

On Building long lasting relationships

• Trust is an important component of any relationship, be it personal or professional. Building up the trust people have in you by demonstrating empathy, effective listening, respecting differences in opinions, accepting and celebrating diversity at the workplace, handling failures with accountability instead of blaming others, and recognising effort and achievements. 
• The foundation of all these acts is a sincere desire to develop positive relationships which can drive appropriate and sustainable behaviour.

On handling tough people

• The most common habit people have is to let a strained relationship worsen. Communication is important when it comes to talking to a boss or colleague who may not see eye to eye with you. There may be tough and uncomfortable conversations but you just have to brace yourself and face the situation if this is a colleague you want to have a smoother working relationship with.
• Initiate a private, preferably face-to-face conversation. It is important to be able to see his or her body language in order to fully understand and move past the situation.
• Be honest, positive, open and do not be confrontational about the purpose of your meeting.
• Be factual. Ask open-ended questions that effectively probe the problem. For instance, if he or she points out some of your negative traits, ask him or her for specifics as well as what would be an ideal situation should the incident happen again. The more descriptive, the better.
• Listen. Respond when appropriate but do not defend yourself or react emotionally. The objective of the conversation is to get the other party to open up about what they are bothered about. You want to be able to agree with each other and move forward sincerely. 
• If the person does not wish to communicate with you, try again another time using a different approach. 

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big

Resolving conflicts at work

This post came out from The New Paper (12 January 2016)
Title - Resolving conflicts at work

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Don't ignore it
2. Be objective
3. Listen
4. Forgive

On Don't ignore it

• Conflicts are usually a result of minor disagreements that were ignored when they first occurred. Strive to address disagreements immediately as any discontent or minor disagreement that is not addressed immediately tends to fester when ignored. These pent up negative emotions can eventually escalate into emotional outbursts.

On Be objective

• Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or "being right". Maintaining and strengthening the relationship should always be your first priority. Focus on the present. 
• Bringing out past issues is a sure way to aggravate any tensed situation. If you are holding onto past grudges and resentment then your ability to have an objective view of the current situation will be affected.
• Always look at the issue at hand and focus on rectifying it.

On Listen

• Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint. Listening shows respect to the people who you are in disagreement with.
• People are more willing to hear what you have to say when you listen to them first. It helps bridge any misunderstandings and connect better with the other party.

On Forgive

• Be willing to forgive as well. Resolving a conflict is impossible if you are unwilling to forgive. Conflict resolution lies in letting go of any anger and negative emotions, which are emotionally draining and unhealthy.

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big

Managing work conflicts

This post came out from The New Paper (7 June 2015)
Title - Smart ways to manage work conflicts

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Ask questions
2. Managing egos
3. Avoid sarcasm when dealing with conflict of any kind

On Ask questions

1. Asking questions, and more importantly, listening to answers, allows you to understand the other person's point of view and his thinking that leads to the opinion.
2. Rephrasing the opposing point of view is also a good idea, especially if things are getting heating.

On Managing egos

1. It helps to massage the ego of the person with whom you disagree. Do this subtly or it will be recognized as a false.
2. You can afford to be generous in your praise, especially if you are right. Words cost only thought.

On Avoid sarcasm when dealing with conflict of any kind

1. A most satisfying form of self indulgence, sarcasm is usually not understood or convinces the other person that you are nuts. 
2. Searing wit is not well understood, but the intention to wound and denigrate is. So all you will have achieved is alienation without admiration, a waste of time. 

Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big