Tough negotiator

This post came out from The Straits Times (3 July 2015)
Title - Handling a tough negotiator (The first step lies in understanding the reason behind the behavior

Some pointers that I've got are:
1. Testing you
2. Playing tactics
3. In a bad mood
4. Unpleasant by nature

On Testing you

• Some negotiators like to come on strong, just to see how you will react. They are hoping to intimidate you into giving up more than you would like. 
• With such people, you need to hold your ground. If you stand up to them, you have passed the test and they will respect you. 

On Playing tactics

• Sometimes the hard negotiator is being tough for the sake of it. Even if you stand up to him, he will continue to push hard. 
• He has learnt through experience that he can often get a better outcome when he is more demanding, so he will try to wear you down. If this is his game, you must brace yourself and focus on what you want to get out of the deal. 
• The worse thing you can do with a difficult negotiator is to offer concessions in a misguided effort to appease him. But the message he will receive is that by being tough, he is getting more, so he will continue to use the tactic as you have proven him right.
• Thus, each time your hard bargaining counterpart asks you for a concession, ask him for something in return. Make him understand there will be no free lunch. 

On Bad Mood

• Your negotiating counterpart may just be having a bad day. As a result, he or she may be hostile, irritable or difficult to deal with.
• Thus, this is a good time to ask "Did I do anything to offend you?"
• If yes, you can ask about the what exactly you did that caused that offence, apologize for it and continue to negotiate calmly. If no, it will become obvious to the negotiator that he or she has no reason to vent the anger on you, and this will likely to clam him or her down.

On Unpleasant by nature

• There are a few people who simply do not play well with others. They may be arrogant, demanding, or just plain obnoxious.
• For these people, you will not be able to change him, but do not stoop to his level either. Take the high road and do your best. Be polite and profession, stay focused on your objectives and work towards an agreement that satisfies him or her. 

Yours,
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